three

At that time, Junliang was no longer a pretentious person; she said nothing, simply took off her coat and had me tie it around my waist

Solomon is the beloved of God, the king on earth, unmatched by anyone

The first significant turning point in my life occurred when I was eleven years old, amidst a life that was otherwise flat and uneventful, suddenly interrupted by a thunderous explosion.

Junliang smiled faintly, somewhat dismissively: "No need, Mom, I have a secret I haven't told you. I have savings, and it's quite a substantial amount."

When I was a child, the neighbor next door bought a device called a VCD, which, after being connected to the television, could play discs to listen to music

She pressed a sanitary pad into my hand, her words brief: "Stick it on"

Therefore, even if I do not understand much, I know that books must be read diligently

I have said that if I had not met Junliang, my life would certainly have taken a different course

At that time, she seemed to me like an angel

If her boyfriend Paul had been by her side at that time, perhaps the tragedy would not have occurred

In everyone's life, there are always a few significant turning points, standing at the crossroads of life, hesitating and wavering, fearing to take a wrong step, because once you take that step, you will never have the opportunity to know what kind of scenery lies on other paths

Mother, that day at the lawyer's office, didn't you say that you are just a woman? If you do not plan for yourself, no one will plan for you... I am very fortunate to have inherited your genes and to have taken action early on. Although I love beauty and often spend money recklessly, I have saved all my red envelope money since childhood, not touching a single cent.

Just like that blood-red sunset from many years ago, I stood up from my cramped seat in the dim classroom, revealing a smile to her.

Junliang once jokingly said that if in the future one of us becomes famous, for example, if she wins the Pulitzer Prize and I win the Mao Dun Literature Prize, when giving a speech on stage, I must mention the other's name and also say, "If it weren't for her, my beautiful and wise confidante, I would not be where I am today..."

Junliang transferred to my class in the second semester of the first year of junior high school. I heard that she fell behind in her studies due to an illness, so her parents decided to send her to our prestigious school, known for its excellent teaching quality, to catch up on her studies.

I do not know what to do, walking back in shabby pants under the mocking gazes of passersby? ... I cannot do it, I truly cannot do it

Whenever I look at her with that cold, icy gaze, my grandmother, whom I secretly refer to as the Wolf Grandma, always adds fuel to the fire by saying: "Look at her, at such a young age she already looks at people like this, just imagine how she will be when she grows up..."

When Junliang appeared, my face was already drenched in tears. She gently tapped on my desk. I looked up at her, not understanding why this classmate, who had never spoken a word to me before, was standing in front of me at this moment

There were times when I was also well-behaved and obedient. On weekends, I wore a gymnastics outfit and carried my leather-soled dance shoes to learn ballet. During holidays, I performed in front of all the teachers and students at school as a key member of the class's cultural activities. My hair was styled into two small horn braids, adorned with two large hair flowers, and I would dot my forehead with a red lipstick mark to resemble a beauty spot.

As dawn broke, I stood anxiously with my backpack at the foot of the boys' dormitory, waiting for Gu Ciyuan. He ran over from the hazy morning light and pressed his hand on my shoulder, saying, "Wait a little longer, Du Xun will be here soon."

Before being sent to City H, I was not a troublesome child who caused my parents headaches

Du Xun said nothing, merely wrapped his arm around her shoulder and let out a deep sigh

She read a story about Solomon when she was very young

To speak frankly, my first impression of Junliang was not good. Her overly arrogant demeanor led me to immediately conclude that she was "not one of my kind." If it were not for the incident that occurred later, perhaps our relationship would have been limited to merely nodding and smiling at each other during a class reunion several years later, merely a form of greeting, and in essence, we would have remained strangers.

As Junliang spoke these words, a layer of mist gradually formed in her mother's eyes. Several times, her mother opened her mouth as if to say something, but ultimately did not speak. Finally, Junliang reached out and held her trembling hand, firmly saying: "Mom, I know that life from now on cannot be compared to what it was before, but you need not worry. I am already an adult, and I am very clear about what I should do. You go live the life you have always wanted; one thing will never change: I will always be your daughter"

As soon as this thought emerged, I immediately slapped myself; I truly lack integrity, indeed. No wonder Gu Ciyuan said that I am never serious.

However, there are no ifs.

Junliang turned her face to smile at me: "Chuwu, do you know that saying?"

It is of no use; no matter how I resist, it is all in vain. They do not care about my feelings at all. After packing my bags and quickly completing the transfer procedures, they sent me to City H. They seemed so eager, as if I were a burden they were desperate to get rid of.

However, it is of no use; I will not forgive.

Given my personality, although I have never said such words, Junliang must understand very well that she is indeed my only friend

Gu Ciyuan, sitting beside me, held my hand tightly. I leaned on his shoulder and closed my eyes tightly. Everything from the past flashed by like a black-and-white silent film, then froze and magnified

At the moment I hung up the phone, my roar nearly echoed through the skies

Regardless of how Gu Ci Yuan will be laughed at in the future, I can confidently say that at that time, I indeed looked very adorable

Watching her emaciated figure disappear at the door, I truly feel that this world is absurd. Have all the women in this world perished? Why is it that even a girl like Tang Yuanyuan can navigate between multiple boys?

I always watch her coldly as she concocts these pale excuses to brush me off, does she think I am foolish? ... Before forcibly sending me to City H, my father's increasingly infrequent returns home ...? ... Does she really think I haven't noticed anything?

The story goes that, three months later, the wise men presented a ring inscribed with the words: Everything will be lost

Those memories that I am unwilling to recall are, however, indelibly etched in the originally innocent days of my youth, having become an unalterable history with the passage of time.

Fortunately, I am not the only outcast in the class; there is also that chubby girl who shares the same treatment as me. Her greatest talent lies in peeling the covers off textbooks and putting them on her extracurricular books, while savoring the enchanting world of youthful manga amidst the melodious morning reading of the entire class.

Gu Ciyuan brought me hot soy milk for breakfast, but I was so sad that I couldn't drink a single sip. I once saw a girl say that there is no such thing as empathy in this world. I admit she has her point, but Junliang and I are like siblings; her experiencing such a change means my heaviness is not feigned.

That was the first time in my life that I lost control. I cried with a distorted face, sweeping all the bowls and chopsticks off the dining table to the ground, the sound of porcelain shattering one after another, interspersed with my howls and screams.

However, when Junliang becomes stubborn, it is truly frightening. Looking at her sullen face, all my resolve dissipates, and I can only brace myself to be disliked.

Du Xun pondered for a moment, then called her. Before Chen Zhiqing's exclamation had faded, he quickly said: "Zhiqing, is it convenient for us to meet? I have something very important to discuss with you"

Among all the words she has spoken to me, the one that I remember most vividly is about "jealousy". She said that jealousy is one of the seven deadly sins, and therefore, you must forgive them

Although I was so furious with him that I felt like I could vomit blood, I could only bow my head and nod vigorously at the air, saying: "Alright, alright, alright, I will go back tomorrow! If I don't go back tomorrow, I am not your daughter!"

In the end, it was Junliang who spoke first. Even in such an awkward situation, she maintained her dignity and composure, unlike some girls who, upon seeing their boyfriends, would rush over and burst into tears.

After returning to City Z, I felt as if I had become a different person. There were often some gossipy neighbors who would chatter away, and I would inadvertently hear their words. Regarding my father's disappearance, I never dared to ask my mother a single word. That strange mentality was akin to that of an ostrich; I was very afraid that if I asked, it would become a reality.

In fact, when I heard Gu Ciyuan say this, a gentle feeling slowly rippled through my heart. However, I wanted to be a reserved young lady, so my response to him was a roll of the eyes: "Stop pretending to be so artsy!"

It was around that time that I became extremely, extremely, extremely insecure

In that year in City H, I seldom recalled it during my later growth, perhaps because its overall tone was too bleak, or perhaps because I was too lonely at that time. In any case, that period was like a stroke of plain white amidst a riot of colors, and like a moment of silence amidst the clamor of music. It was unimportant, and was naturally overlooked.

From the day I transformed from a child into a young girl, through our respective sixteenth birthdays, to our time together in university, and throughout the long journey of life that follows, we will always reside in the deepest parts of each other's hearts, becoming eternal inhabitants.

Later, when I grew up, the first time I saw the word "loneliness," the first thing that came to my mind was those two iron tracks—infinitely extending, never intersecting. This is loneliness, isn't it...

The person has departed, yet one can still see her in the disc, wearing a flowing white gown, gently singing: If I had not met you, where would I be, how would my days be, and would life be cherished...

He forced a reluctant smile at me, one that could even be considered perfunctory. Although there was little sincerity in that smile, I could understand his concern for Junliang.

If she had fulfilled her responsibilities as a wife, and if there had been a bit more warmth in the family, how could it have come to this

I also asked her, is it tiring to live like this

When we knocked on the door of Junliang's home, she had just returned from the law firm. Although she forced a smile at us, her face bore the unmistakable signs of exhaustion that she could not conceal.

At that time, she appeared somewhat outstanding among her peers. The teacher kindly asked her to stand on the podium and introduce herself to the classmates. No one expected that this young lady would be so disrespectful to the teacher: "What is there to introduce? What is there to talk about? My name is Su Junliang, is that enough?"

On the train back to City Z, my mother said to me with a sense of melancholy: "Chuwi, from now on, it will just be you and me living at home..."

Her voice was also filled with weariness: "I appreciate your concern, but in fact... things will eventually pass. I am stronger than you, stronger than everyone, and perhaps even stronger than I think I am. Throughout a person's life, one must encounter various disasters, both big and small. I had lived too well before, and now I am paying for it all at once..."

Junliang picked up the teacup, gently blew on it, and after carefully taking a sip, began to speak: "Mother, I am not surprised by everything that is happening now; I am just very sad... In the past, the elders used to say, 'Husband and wife are like birds in the same forest; when disaster strikes, they fly their separate ways.' I never thought that one day this saying would apply to my parents."

Gifted children are often not as happy, but as long as they appear to be thriving on the surface, that is sufficient

After everything was settled, I looked at her, and not a single word of gratitude could escape my lips; all my sentiments were encapsulated in my smile.

Indeed, everything will be lost, Junliang sighed softly: "Since I became aware of my father's matters, I anticipated today. Over the past years, there were times when I truly hoped I was just being overly anxious. I sincerely wish that my savings would never have to be used."

I nodded silently, of course, I know

If I felt a bit unhappy about their concealment of the relationship before, this morning, looking at Du Xun's serious face, I truly no longer hold any grievances

I never expected that this person, who usually speaks in such an archaic manner, would actually respond to me with: "I don't want a daughter like you who lacks ambition!"

Although I know that he has a great affection for Junliang, the impression he gives me is still too heavy, as if the person who has been subjected to "double regulation" is his own father

When returning to the dormitory, Tang Yuanyuan, that annoying girl, was just putting on makeup. Upon seeing the haggard Jun Liang, she bluntly asked, "Damn, why does your face look so terrible? It looks like you just had an abortion."

Gu Ciyuan shook me awake from my state of emptiness, and the already serious expression on Du Xun's face became even more pronounced

In fact, I only know one aspect, not the other

Later, I mentioned a bit about life in City H to Junliang. I said, can you imagine, passing by that dilapidated station on the way to school every day, watching the railway tracks extend infinitely into the distance, that feeling... it is very desolate

When things were almost settled, I received a call from Liang Zheng. He shouted at me indignantly on the other end of the line: "Song Chuwei, you are completely over! You actually skipped three days of class. If you don't come back soon, I will report it to the class supervisor!"

I sat in my seat for an entire afternoon, too afraid to move. Even when the teacher called for us to stand up, I pretended to feel unwell and lay down on my desk.

Since this household has changed from three people to two, it has become very quiet, so quiet that we can even hear each other's breathing. We speak less and less, and our communication and interaction have diminished. Regarding the deepening barrier between us, no one has the courage to overturn it.

After returning from City H, although I have grown taller, I have not become any wiser, so I have not noticed many subtle changes. The increasingly deteriorating relationship between my mother and me has made it difficult for me to muster the courage to inquire about things that I vaguely sense but do not fully understand.

Du Xunlian did not get out of the taxi, and waved at us: "Come on, what are you waiting for?"

The latter half of this conversation was almost a monologue by Junliang, and her mother's silence served as the symbol marking the end of this conversation, not a period, but an ellipsis

Suddenly finding oneself in a strange new environment, former classmates and companions feel as distant as memories from a past life, surrounded by curious and inquisitive gazes.

At that time, I was young and did not even understand how to express sorrow, even if I tried to force new words to convey it.

However, that innate peculiar sense of pride made me reluctant to admit this, so during those years when I was being pretentious, I often said that I was like water, unscarred.

One day, he heard a phrase in his dream, suddenly awakening in a state of great fear. However, in his terror, he forgot what it was, so he summoned the wise men from all over the world, commanding them to come up with this phrase

Junliang's mother had a look of guilt on her face, and her tone carried a somewhat deliberate sense of appeasement: "Don't think too much about it. In the future, your tuition and living expenses will be covered by me."

Not long after we took our seats, I realized from the conversation between the mother and daughter that it was not my illusion; that man was indeed no longer her husband

After growing up, sometimes when I look at Junliang, this song always reverberates in my mind

Recalling the memories of our youth, we all felt a tinge of sadness, so I quickly changed the subject: "Junliang, I really didn't expect you to be so foresighted, knowing that you should save money for yourself. I always thought you were just a spendthrift!"

When I first heard of this decision, I was taken aback, but their serious expressions undoubtedly proved that they were informing me, rather than consulting with me, and the rigid tone left no room for negotiation

My mother's explanations always sound so forced, my father is busy with work... my father is on a business trip... my father was originally on the bus, but he had to return due to an urgent matter, he will definitely come next time

Perhaps the recent events have exhausted Junliang's ability to retaliate, as she merely shot Tang Yuanyuan a glare and did not express anything further. I directly picked up a book and threw it over: "Tang Yuanyuan, why don't you go on a date with Liang Zheng and stop making a scene here."

I do not know what events she has encountered that led her to emit such a sigh amidst all her profound sorrow.

After leaving the café, I saw the tears that had been held back for so long finally break free from Junliang's eyes. I did not comfort her, as I truly did not know how to console her; I could only do something that even a cat or a dog could do: take out a tissue and hand it to her

However, fate is not a piece of clay that can be molded into the shape we desire at will. This time, the upheaval in the Junliang family not only destroyed her life but also shattered the pride and dignity she had tirelessly maintained in front of others.

As long as he truly loves Junliang and cares for her, nothing else matters

However, later when I mentioned this sentence again in front of Gu Ciyuan, he argued with me very seriously: "How can water not have scars? Water is the most prone to scars, because even the slightest touch can create ripples..."

I looked at Junliang's stubborn profile with pity, and a sense of indescribable sadness arose in my heart

I watched the retreating villas and fields rushing by outside the car window, my eyes uncharacteristically filled with tears, yet I continued to turn my back to her, refusing to turn around.

How is that possible! A spendthrift like Su Junliang, who loves to buy high-end makeup sets, is infatuated with limited edition perfumes, insists on purchasing everything from hats to shoes exclusively at department store counters, and has never shopped on Taobao, actually claims to have savings

As we got up to leave, Junliang's voice suddenly carried an uncontrollable emotion: "Mom, I wish you happiness"

Seeing us all in a state of shock, Junliang had no choice but to explain: "In fact, I had heard about my father's matters a long time ago, so I am not surprised at all by today's outcome. He should have anticipated this day when he was doing those things, enjoying those things, and accepting those things"

Menarche occurs under such circumstances

If I do not look, I can continue to evade; if I do not look, I can treat it as if it never happened, as if nothing ever existed: once, I too was a child that made my parents proud.

For many years, she has always presented herself as aloof and self-important in the eyes of outsiders, much like a princess standing atop a peak, looking down upon the masses. She does not allow even the slightest hint of ungracefulness to fall into the sight of others

Now, don't mention her mother; even I am extremely shocked!

The "they" she referred to are the girls around us who, although still unaware of the evil nature of humanity, have already shown some signs of it, such as A, who placed a dead mouse in my desk; B, who tripped me in public by extending a foot on the stairs; and C, who said in front of the teacher, "Song Chuwei was hiding underneath and flipping through a book during the exam"

Those photographs are still tucked away in an old album, yet I have long ceased to open the drawer to retrieve them

However, the fact that one rarely thinks of something does not mean that it is truly forgotten

The early winter rain falls gently and persistently

Since childhood, I have repeatedly heard my mother, who is a teacher, nagging that all pursuits are inferior, and only studying is of the highest value

It was only when we boarded the train back to City Z that my anxious heart finally began to settle a little. Glancing at Du Xun, who still had his brows furrowed, I patted his shoulder and said softly, "I know her well; she would never do anything to harm herself."

I looked at her with great disdain and said, "Why have you become increasingly rude in your speech? You are Lin Muse!"

At the same time, Du Xun from A University turned on his phone, which had been off for three days, and messages and missed call notifications from Chen Zhiqing came pouring in like snowflakes

I resent them; I know that there must have been some earth-shattering changes that occurred while I was still in a daze. Otherwise, why is it always her who comes to see me alone? Why doesn't Dad come?

That incident was like a watershed; from then on, Junliang and I became very good friends. We didn't even mind how others fabricated or distorted our relationship. At that time, we were both living as such self-centered and uninhibited children

That event was when my parents, disregarding my desperate resistance, insisted on sending me to City H

She shrugged and said, "There is a saying by the master: when adults do not act like adults, children have no choice but to grow up quickly"

After finishing her makeup, Tang Yuanyuan smiled at me and said, "I am not only being asked out by Liang Zheng."

She glanced at me, smiled gratefully, and with that subtle smile encapsulated a thousand words.

I remember very clearly, it was in 1995, when Teresa Teng passed away due to a recurrence of asthma.

Was he originally planning to become the son-in-law of the Su family

After washing her face, Junliang regained a bit of her spirit. In response to my question, she once again displayed her former sharp-tongued demeanor: "Chuwi, your writing is good, but it pales in comparison to others' skills in bed."

She has said that I am her only friend

The four people sitting on the sofa did not speak first. I used my gaze to urge Gu Ciyuan to break the silence, but he returned my look with his own, saying: "Are you mute?"

Du Xun's anxiety stems not only from the upheaval in Jun Liang's family but also from another reason: he is uncertain about how to address his relationship with Chen Zhiqing amidst this chaotic situation. If he chooses to confess to Jun Liang at this moment, it would undoubtedly exacerbate the situation.

That purgatorial life came to an end in the sixth grade. When my mother came to pick me up, she was surprised to find that I had already grown to 1.6 meters tall. Her expression was a mix of shock and joy, accompanied by a sense of humble reconciliation.

Every month in between, my mother comes to see me once, bringing me some food. Although she becomes more haggard each time, it does not evoke any sense of pity in me at all

I have just come to understand why Junliang has always wanted me to be with her. If there is no one to accompany her, if there is no one she can temporarily rely on to let down her guard, she might truly collapse.

Although I felt quite embarrassed, Junliang's mother was very friendly. The warm smile on her face gave me the illusion that she had no connection to Junliang's father, as if the man facing imprisonment was not her husband at all

I originally would not agree to it at all, although we are very close friends. However, this is ultimately Junliang's personal matter, and as an outsider sitting by, it feels awkward to even think about it.

Perhaps due to a night without sleep, my head is buzzing, and I momentarily cannot respond.

Later, a reporter remarked that during the interview with Paul, there was no trace of sorrow on his face, which was truly令人唏嘘.

Those restless nights, those nights spent crying under the covers, those days when I stumbled yet still stubbornly pretended to be proud, they do not allow me to forget

After school in the afternoon, everyone had left, and I was still lying on the desk. At the age of just over ten, I understood for the first time what despair truly meant

My hand and Junliang's were tightly clasped together under the table, her palm slightly damp, and it was only this small peculiarity that subtly revealed a hint of her inner anxiety.

I originally had nothing much to do, but upon hearing her say that, I suddenly felt a tingling sensation in my nasal cavity

Junliang brought me along for her final negotiation with her mother

When we parted, she finally said to me with a hint of disdain, "Make sure to return it clean."

Thus, the girls do not want to be friends with me, and the boys who have not yet matured to appreciate beautiful females are even less likely to befriend me. I feel like an extraneous person in the class, only becoming the center of attention during exams.

The homeroom teacher's face turned bright red; I thought that if it weren't for Junliang's father's influence, the teacher would surely have choked this insensible little girl on the spot

The fear and loneliness that once accompanied me in City H have once again surrounded me like a tide, and I bit my lip tightly, wishing I could just die on the spot.

She asked me in return, how can one live in this world without feeling exhausted